The Flight to Singapore was boringly unremarkable. I’ve been psyching myself out for 3 weeks. But I surprised the hell out of myself at how calm I was the whole flight. Considering I am usually a basket case, and need to be drugged to the eye balls to even get on the plane, this was a highly unusual turn of events for me.Pretty sure Al thinks we have all been having a lend of him at how much I freak out, and truth be told, I reckon he was little disappointed and my lack of needing a change of underwear, but was quite relieved he retained the circulation in his fingers.
We just left Singapore for Kathmandu. I must say, not so calm this time. The aircraft is half the size and Al tells me that the creaking and groaning of the plane is normal. 😳
Is this a prelude the the wings falling off??
Think positive thoughts And tell myself. What will be, will be.
Ding ding, announcement over the PA, return to your seats we are expecting some turbulence. Ok. I can do this. Breathe deeply. Pretend you are calm. Everyone tells me you have more chance dying crossing the road than in a plane. Like that f#%@ing helps!! Fidiots!!!
The plane suddenly lurches, drops 1000 feet, ok, 100 feet, alright, alright it was about a foot. Couple more big bumps and at this point, I think, this isn’t that bad, I got this shit!!!!
I hear the woman in me roar and feel positively all powerful. Piece of cake. Nothing to worry about….
Next minute the flight attendant hits the deck.
WTF!? He is actually squatting on the floor!!!!!
All those pelvic floor exercises have suddenly “almost” paid off. With quivering bowels and a slightly less than watertight bladder, I look over at Al and he has that smirk on his face that only he can do. At this point I am unsure of what reaction I am going to have first.
Scream? Wet my pants? Diarrhoea? Slap him? All of the above?!
But the look on his face was priceless and I just laughed. Again, thinking what will be, will be. Newspaper headline “Manic old lady losing her shit on flight from Singapore to Kathmandu” averted.
All is calm again.
The dinner cart arrives, food was delicious, ice cream even better. Do I brave undoing the seatbelt and head out the loo? And let’s just get a little bit real here. The seatbelt isn’t really going to do jack if you fall out of the sky is it? 😳
But I put on my big girl panties and headed for the loo.
I’m definitely going to die this time, in a dunny, with my pants around my feet, bare butt to the world and this time and all I could think was…
I knew I should have shaved my bloody legs! ✈️🚽😟
Three friends catching up for coffee and a little shooting, what could possibly go wrong? Little did we know that the afternoon would play out like a comedy of errors. Some too shocking to comprehend the gravity of at the time, but in hindsight, became more hilarious as the afternoon faded into evening.
Our chauffeur, none other than the lovely Nicole, drove us around in her less than 24 hours old, shiny new car. Uncharacteristically following more road rules and speed limits in fear of dirt and scratches, I was feeling a little less apprehensive about our afternoon drive in comparison to previous outings.
We get to our first destination, cruise straight through the carpark, past a sign that says “No Parking” and down a one lane road. Ordinarily, this isn’t too bad in the misdemeanor department, but when Nicole starts making little squeaking sounds like a shopping trolley wheel that needs oiling, we realise there is an enormous 4WD trying to squeeze past us on a one lane road. In her mind’s eye I am sure she was picturing large scrapes down the side of shiny new car that she would have to explain to her husband.
Shopping trolley stops squeaking and the crisis is averted as the 4WD makes it through and shiny new car is still a shiny new car. So, instead of reversing back to carpark, we continue on to the “No Parking” zone to save ourselves walking 50 metres to our shooting destination.
This time it is I making sounds akin to a demented seal. I see two other illegally parked cars on a collision course as a ute reverses at great speed and slams into a small sedan. I hear Nicole gasp, and honestly, everything else is a blur after that. I recall hearing the words “That’s it, I’m outta here!” as the accident site fades into the blur of warp speed and clouds of burnt rubber.
Incident One, Averted!!
By the time I blinked and regained a proper breathing pattern, we were on an unfamiliar road. This in itself, was quite a concern as I had driven the roads in this area repeatedly looking for things to shoot.
Then, interesting structures appeared that I hadn’t seen before and I was quite excited at the prospect of shooting this industrial landscape. But, in a nanosecond, excitement once again gave way to prickles of concern.
I realise we are in a restricted area and had driven past, not one, not two, but three signs and through two massive gates warning us not to enter.
Let’s just say the site may or may not rhyme with P and B, and may or may not be a refinery.
Signs of hyperventilation are starting to appear, and visions of puddles on Nicole’s shiny new seats were floating around my brain. All the while, I can here Shirl in the backseat making cooing sounds, and clicking away on her phone. (Yes, she came on a shoot armed with a phone and no camera.)
I see a turnaround spot and quickly suggest to Nicole it might be a good idea to use it. She stares at me for a second and sails right past it, and then grins at me. All the while, camera phone is going crazy in the backseat.
At this point Shirl pipes in and suggests that the next road we had just cruised by, might have been a good place to turn around. I think she is starting to feel my concerns. That, or she can smell the fear on my sweat drenched body. But NO, we keep on trucking to the end of the road and come to a halt.
Nicole just says “Oh!”
We look up into the golden light of the afternoon and see the silhouette of a car wash, with shining streams of water glowing in the backlight of imminent sunset. Shirl leans forward and says “Just breathe Tina, just breathe!”
I look at Nicole. She is bathed in the glow of the afternoon sun, and I can see the thoughts of less than 24 hours of dust, and burnt rubber being washed away in aforementioned car wash written all over her face.
Shirl just quietly says, “Don’t do it Nicole!” and just like that, Nicole snaps out of her daydreams and I am relieved to see we are on the move, and I once again regain control of my bladder.
Bladder control only lasted maybe a heartbeat, when someone pipes up and says, “crap, there’s two cars following us!”
I can smell freedom as the gates are only 50 metres in front of us. Sweat starts to dry up, breathing becomes easier and the fear of puddles is almost a distant memory. Phew!
BLADDER IN FULL LOCKDOWN!!!!
Nicole pulls over inside, yes, INSIDE the gates to let the cars pass!! WTF!
At this point you probably realise I am not a rule breaker, taker of chances, or have full control of bodily functions.
The edges of my world are going black, but thankfully, it was only two workers leaving the refin… umm workplace. Once again we are on the road to the next destination and I regain my vision.
Incident Two, Averted!
Now, most people would assume that this would be enough action for the afternoon correct?
Incorrect! Incident Three is probably the most shocking of all…
Thinking we should take the afternoon to safer places, I suggest we head to a local shipping container yard to get some shots. For the record, I do regret suggesting this, and Nicole, I apologise profusely for my actions, and those of our dear friend Shirl.
Due to complete laziness and unwillingness to carry gear, I only had my 24-70 lens, which didn’t quite have the reach I needed. At this point I will admit to having some serious lens envy when Nicole whipped out her 70-200 and was wishing I had brought mine along too.
This soon turned to relief and a prayer of thanks that I am so lazy!
I headed off, probably 100m from Nicole, while Shirl sat in the car playing on her Phone. Shooting through the gates, I vaguely heard a loud sound, but involved in my shot, I ignored it.
This was followed by sounds of raucous laughter and moaning! Thinking the girls were being their usual silly selves, I carried on ignoring them. Taking a step to my left, I came face to face with an exceptionally large (remember how large this is later) sign. I took a step back and read the sign, and all of a sudden the loud sound I heard earlier, registered in my brain. It sounded like a bug zapper, only 500 times louder!
I glance back to the car and see Shirl in what can only be described as delirium of laughter. Her face bright red from trying to breathe, mouth agape, but no sound coming out! I look over to Nicole and see her laying on the ground.
I would like to add the disclaimer here that I thought she was taking the piss. I thought she was sitting down (albeit horizontally) and playing a practical joke. I am seriously ashamed to say that instead of running to her assistance, I raised my camera and took a shot!! Okay, a few shots. I know!! Horrible friend and delusions of grandeur at becoming a world class photo journalist.
I could already see the headlines. Photographer fails to render assistance to electrocuted friend in order to get The Shot!
Coming to my senses, I started to run (walk fast) toward her and then stop dead in my tracks. I yell at Shirl “Is she serious, or is she taking the piss?” Now I would also like to point out, that there was another person in this scenario that could have aided the still smoking Nicole.
Shirl was holding her stomach, weaving back and forth gasping for air and shaking her head. I still couldn’t work out if she was serious or not, but finally Shirl regained the ability to speak and assured me it was serious.
In hindsight, I am thankful I did not bring my 70-200 metal barreled lens and poke it through an electric fence. It’s like the game of Operation, don’t touch the sides and you won’t get buzzed. I guess Nicole never played that game as a child because she touched the sides and got fried.
Although she got a serious buzz, lost her vision, hearing and her legs would no longer hold her up, by the time I got to her, she was laughing hysterically. I later realise, this was shock setting in (no pun intended). So, being the supportive friends we are, we laughed along with her for the next 15 minutes. Needless to say, I think she realises we can’t be trusted in a crisis and that metal is a great conductor.
Sorry Nicole, but that is the most laughs I have had in a very long time.
Can we do it again next weekend?
Incident Three, NOT averted!
Moral to the story, don’t waste your money on putting signs everywhere, because no body reads them!
PS, No photos accompanying this post due to fear of retaliation 🙂
I always have good intentions of keeping up with this blog, but other things seem to get in the way. Or, maybe I am just too lazy? Either way, here are a few recent edits.
But, just to clarify, I do check out the Blogs of those die hard bloggers still doing it, but probably don’t comment as much as I should. Suppose it comes back to that lazy thing again. 😦
Obviously you can tell I am on a textural rampage at the moment, but this too will pass 🙂
Fellow shooter Shawn Hayward and I went up to Sharp Point in Albany. I have tried to photograph this spot many times, but the howling winds have thwarted me every time, and I have come home disappointed, vowing to go back another time to try again.
The afternoon was beautiful and calm, epic clouds forming, stunning blue water, colour to die for on the cliffs, what could go wrong?
I had borrowed the Canon 5DMIII to test drive. I thought I had changed everything to how I wanted the camera set up, not so! One big mistake and I once again came away disappointed. Must change camera from JPEG to RAW!!! Duh right? I thought I had, but in my rush, I hadn’t quite pressed the button hard enough. So 90% of my shoot was in JPEG.
I went out not expecting to like the camera, and the first half hour or so, I really didn’t. Who needs to read the manual right, it can’t be that different to the Mark II surely? Ha!! It is amazing how you get to know your own camera back to front, and I can operate it without even thinking now. The Mark III really isn’t that different, but some controls I use, after every shot are now on opposite sides of the camera back to what I am used to.
This made me start doing moves that a contortionist would be proud of with my right hand, completely ignoring the fact that I have a perfectly good left hand, dangling by my side doing nothing, NOTHING!!
And LIVE View!! Where the heck was that?! Which meant I spent a good chunk of valuable light trying to bring up my histogram because I pretty much can’t shoot without it now. Once I actually figured out how to read one that is. Thank you Nick Rains!!
By the end of an hour or so with a camera that I had no interest in wanting to own, I have come away very, very impressed with all that it can do, and it is now on my list of things that I NEED!
Bye for now, I am off to scour the house and sheds to see what things my husband doesn’t need anymore to fund my burning need to own this camera. 🙂
I recently met up with a fellow blogger Jordan Cantello. I’d been following his work for some time, and when the opportunity arose to finally meet him and go on a shoot, how could I refuse?
I got permission to go into part of what was a Quarantine Station in Albany and here a just a few images from that morning.
Well, I have well and truly neglected my blog for no other reason than, I’ve been busy being lazy, and Facebook is quite the time wasting maggot!! So time to start posting regularly again!
After a particularly long day at work and dealing with an extremely arrogant/rude customer at the end of it, I drove straight to one of my favourite places to regroup. The clouds started playing the game nicely, and then a very small window of colour shone through and made my day a whole lot nicer.
While having intermittent internet service, I decided to share some of the hundreds and hundreds of images I have taken while on a photographic with Nick Rains and Christian Fletcher and a bunch of lovely talented photographers.
Well it’s been a long time since I posted. No excuses, I’ve just been slack.
Recently a group of photographers who met online got together for a weekend of shooting and sharing in Dunsborough, WA. Thanks guys for a great weekend. So I thought I would share some images from our trip.
A little video I made about my images and how changes, big or small, can make a vast difference to RAW files.